Don't ever tell your kid they are eating "frog brains".

Ok yesterday I won the worst mother of the year award. Mind you It was a rough day at the Page household... I made really difficult decision a few weeks ago that seven dogs, two babies, and a pony... was really just too much. So though I'm still totally in shock and I'm not sure I'll ever be totally ok with my decision, I decided with much turmoil that I would attempt to wean our herd of dogs down to four. The problem is when all seven are members of our household and in many ways equally important to the dynamic around here how do you decide? I felt a little like I was trying to decide which of my seven children I was going to give up for adoption.

So In the end I did what was best. Gold our faithful and absolutely gorgeous champion stud dog who was a much cherished member of our family went back to his original mamma Karen in Indiana. I didn't sleep at all Friday night agonizing about his departure and Friday saying goodbye to him made me absolutely sick to my stomach. Honestly though Karen loves him as much as I do and the fact that he is going back to "family" makes me breath a sigh of relief. Karen is like a second mother to me and I'd claim her as my own in a second. I only regret we didn't get to see Karen as her husband is in the hospital at the moment. Though I'm glad in a way we didn't as I'm positive if Karen would have been there I would have broken down into a pile of goo in the middle of the parking lot of McDonald's in the middle of nowhere in Tennessee sobbing hysterically. I just pray Gold behaves himself and he doesn't hold it all against me. With Gold left Penelope our chocolate cow spotted chihuahua who was Gold's niece. Seeing Penelope go was hard but it was totally overshadowed by Gold's departure. Gold was my little protector and I always felt safe in the house knowing he was there watching me. I'm fairly certain that dog would have thrown himself in front of a speeding bullet if there came the need and he thought me or Connor was in any sort of danger. The only bright spot was Lelah was due to leave too to Karen's and some last second problems prevented her from going. To be totally honest I'm glad she came back home with me as truthfully I think I would have had a complete heart attack. In the end judge me how you will but with two babies in the household finding time to give everyone appropriate attention is just nearly impossible, let's not even talk about the whole financial obligations that it takes to fund seven dog's health care and food costs. I am after all living on the salary of a police officer. Which not to jump topics here but seriously people police officers don't get paid even close to what they deserve. As often as my poor husband gets things thrown at him, spit at, and even SHOT at... its just not even remotely worth it. Thankfully he LOVES his job and we love that he loves it.

So this brings me to the worst mother of the year award. On top of the fact that I'm already feeling beyond guilty about sending my poor Gold away.. I totally fail to mention to Connor that two of his beloved best friends are leaving. Connor views the dogs as playmates and even siblings and though he sort of knew something was up when I had the dog crates out Thursday night he didn't make the connection. So today we are outside giving the dogs treats.. and he looks at me and says "Where'd Gold go?" and all I can say is "On vacation". He totally accepted that explanation... I just seriously hope its the last question as I almost busted into tears again right in front of him. When we were in Tennessee meeting Gold and Penelope's ride... my Aunt Betty came with us so when it came to the time to load Gold into the other car I just left Connor inside Mcdonalds playing. He never saw Gold leave.. never got to say goodbye... I'm still unsure if thats the right or wrong decision. I did however almost squish Gold to death and covered him in kisses.

On the way home we stopped in Birmingham and ate at the Cheesecake Factory. I mean what better way to drown your sorrows than a quick shopping trip at a huge gorgeous outdoor mall and to top it off with a fabulous meal and cheesecake? Well Connor was a mess by then as we had been in the car since 8am and it was now almost 5pm. Two year olds don't fair so well that many hours strapped down. So we attempted to eat our meal peacefully but Connor just could not sit still and had no interest in eating as he had snacked all day as a means of attempting to appease the angry toddler. Needless to say I attempted to cohurse him into eating by telling him his food was weird things.. like the mushrooms were "frog brains". For some reason this was incredibly entertaining to him and all was going really well until he actually ate the mushrooms. He made the WORST look, but still tried like a little trooper to chew his mushroom and swallow it... then... he threw up his entire dinner including the mushroom all over the floor. I still feel terribly sorry for the waiter. Then I decided it would be such a great idea to take my stinking throw up smelling toddler shopping all over the mall. Luckily no one seemed to notice that he reeked but seriously I could smell him four feet away. Though his clothes were actually clean somehow the smell of throw up was all over his hands, arms, face, hair, and his shirt reeked something fierce. No amount of wipes or washing helped.

*sigh* We did make it home in one piece around 8pm that night, but seriously I'm still anxious about if I did the right thing or not. Not to mention we are still at five dogs and I promised Chris we'd get down to four. How on earth am I supposed to do this again? It's certainly not going to get any easier.